Friday Donuts: Brian Flores and the Most Confusing Things of 2022
Don't be so upset over Brian Flores being fired.
I retired the Tortured Dolphins Fan column about midway through the Dolphins’ seven-game win streak because, well, there just wasn’t much to be tortured about. The Dolphins were winning, Tua Tagovailoa was playing well and we already knew how the season was going to end.
Unfortunately, it looks like I retired the column a few weeks too early. I should have known. Like taxes and Omicron, you can always count on the Dolphins, who unexpectedly fired Brian Flores Monday, causing a wave of incredulousness across South Florida.
“Unjustified. Unfair. Shocking. Egregiously premature. Embarrassing. Irresponsible. Dumbfounding,” began Greg Cote’s scathing Miami Herald column in the wake of Flores’ dismissal.
And so on with most of Twitter, ESPN, etc.
Now, I’m not here to defend Flores or criticize owner Stephen Ross’ decision. Clearly, there’s already been enough of that.
Rather, let’s lean back and take a look at the reaction.
Rarely does a head coach being fired agitate a fanbase. Scan the rest of the NFL. Bears fans and Giants fans are basking in the glow of a coaching search. Dolphins fans know coaching searches well. Since 2004, they’ve had six of them, now seven. Four under Ross.
And prior to this spin of the carousel, Dolphins fans loved each one. Oh, what hope, what potential a new coach could bring to Miami. Is Joe Philbin, Adam Gase, Flores the sideline savior?
Turns out, they weren’t. Though based on the reaction, many fans believed Flores could be.
I’m not saying he couldn’t have been or wasn’t a good coach. He got the most out of his defense and had back-to-back winning seasons for the first time since Jay Fiedler and Brian Griese were trading snaps.
But he also never made the playoffs, botched the handling of Tua and lost games this season to Houston and Jacksonville.
In other words, he wasn’t exactly Don Shula reincarnate.
And yet, he was the best Dolphins fans have had in a while.
Hence the outrage.
But how pathetic is it to be so upset over the firing of a coach who never made the postseason or assembled even an average offense?
Look, I get it. My first reaction was the same as everyone else: Ugh! Here we go again. Damn you Dolphins. Damn youuuuuuuuuu.
After all, Flores got the most out of a swiss-cheese roster and instead of firing GM Chris Grier (who is in charge of assembling the roster), Ross gave Flores the boot. There really was no obvious reason to fire Flores.
In the wake of the upheaval, Dolphins brass began leaking to local media that Flores was hard to work with, had it in for Tua and — get this — was just as responsible for the roster as Grier. LOL!
Believe whatever you want to believe. The idea that Flores, a man who once tried to fight the entire Cincinnati Bengals sideline, would be hard to work with isn’t entirely surprising. But also the idea that Ross has no idea how to run a football team and that Grier, the GM, would outlast his employee, the head coach, also doesn’t require much imagination. The truth, like most things, is probably somewhere in the middle.
The fanbase’s response to this firing should be equally as impartial.
When it comes down to it, Flores was the best coach the Dolphins have had in a while. Compared to the rest of the NFL, though, he was only fine.
🍩 Well, it’s only a couple weeks into 2022 and I’m already lost. New shows, celebrity scandals, court rulings and failed Joe Biden initiatives. There’s still so much going on that I don’t understand. Maybe I don’t read enough news. Maybe I read too much.
If you’re like me, you probably see headlines about Things all the time, nod your head to recognize that that Thing is, indeed, a thing, then go about not answering emails and shopping on Instagram.
So, in a half-hearted attempt to get my life in order, here are my top six things in 2022 that I don’t understand.
China: I keep seeing headlines about China, and what China is doing. I know the Beijing Olympics are happening… or not happening? There’s a boycott, I know that. But only sort of?
Inflation: Is this and No. 1 the same thing? Idk. I understand that prices are going up but I don’t understand why. I’ve seen blame spread across coronavirus, people quitting jobs, Joe Biden, Donald Trump, supply chains, Christmas, patio furniture. Maybe no one understands inflation and that’s why inflation is happening…
Ghislaine Maxwell: I know she’s bad and helped Jeffrey Epstein do bad things, but what I don’t get is why there are so many articles about it. Like, way more articles than any one person needs to read.
Yellowjackets: Another show You have to watch because You’ll love it.
This New Yorker headline: “The Eco-Protesters Who Live in Tunnels”
Democrats: Are doing too much? Not enough? Ruining democracy? That was the one thing about the Trump administration, I always knew that, no matter what, it wasn’t going well and I knew exactly why. Trump sells. With Biden, I have the impression it isn’t going well, but also I’m not sure if it’s just inside baseball stuff that won’t really impact me. Some believed after Trump that people like me would be more engaged with politics. Well, I’m here to triumphantly say, Nope!
🍩 What I’m drinking: Four Roses Small Batch bourbon.