Friday Donuts: The Slap, and Bad Bar Jokes
Is anyone sitting here?
🍩 The Slap: For as shocking as it was to watch Will Smith smack Chris Rock on the Oscars stage, it’s the extreme lack of self-awareness that followed that has most spoiled his once sky-high approval rating.
After the many movies, songs and beloved TV shows Smith has made over his 30-year career, it’s The Smack that will now be most synonymous with his name. But it was during his acceptance speech after winning the Oscar for best actor for his role as Venus and Serena Williams’ father in “King Richard” that made it clear that this beloved actor who always seemed so, well, cool, is just another Hollywood elite claiming Woe is me.
“I know to do what we do you got to be able to take abuse, you got to have people talk crazy about you,” Smith said, excusing himself for smacking Rock onstage over a joke directed at Jada Pinkett Smith. “In this business you got to be able to have people disrespecting you. And you got to smile and you got to pretend like that’s OK.”
Oh, cry me a river, Will.
You mean to tell me that Smith, who is reportedly worth $350 million, has to occasionally handle being disrespected just like — um, let me check here — EVERYBODY?
This isn’t a problem reserved for the Hollywood elite. It may seem louder, given their fame, but it’s also much easier. Regular people don’t get to assault a colleague and then receive the most prestigious award in their field.
Quickly, a show of hands: Who among us simple civilians, in whatever business we may be in, hasn’t been disrespected or taken abuse from a boss, colleague or client?
Did you then get to slap you boss, colleague or client, then carry on with the rest of your career?
Does the telemarketer you rudely hung up on while in the middle of fixing dinner for your children get to leave her desk chair, rattle upon your door and sucker punch you in the face… and then get named Employee of the Month?
Of course not. That would be unimaginable.
How about some real-life examples…
Over the last two years, did Smith take abuse like having to walk into work and learn he was fired or furloughed?
Did Smith take disrespect, like a child being told by his state’s government that his school teacher can’t acknowledge that he’s gay?
Oh, does it suck to have people talk about you? A fraction of the attention Smith and his 62.5 million Instagram followers gets would be welcomed awareness for the thousands of daily victims of sexual assault who feel ignored when they speak up.
No, it’s not Smith’s responsibility to think of everyone else who is hurting when he is hurting. No one should feel guilt about his/her own emotions.
But Smith didn’t even apologize to Rock or face any real-life consequences outside of the public shaming before playing the victim of… what was it again, disrespect?
Instead, after slapping someone onstage, he was allowed to remain in his front-row seat at the Oscars, accept an award, give an uninterrupted speech (the Academy is not without blame) and then attend an afterparty where he danced to his own music with gold man in hand.
In America — a country that generally believes in equal opportunity and second chances — a slap is forgivable. But Smith’s complete lack of self-awareness in his actions that followed is a slap in the face to everyone else.
Should we smile and pretend that’s OK?
🍩 Bad bar jokes: So — and I know this will come as a shock — I’ve been at a few bars lately. At these bars, people talk to me. Or I talk to them. Actually, no, they talk to me. Or maybe they’re talking to my fiancé. Anyway, I don’t like it. I’ve never been one for small talk, especially with strangers. And there’s a weird thing that happens with strangers making small talk: the stranger who initiates will often come early with a joke.
But jokes between strangers are never funny. Why? Because they aren’t meant to be funny. Because strangers don’t know each other’s sense of humor, the joke is usually something pretty vanilla. “Good luck getting a drink” he said with an eye-roll toward the bar tender. Something like that.
So why make the joke in the first place? Well, two reasons. (1.) To break the ice and (2.) to prove you have a sense of humor and thus this ice is worth breaking.
Understanding the purpose of these jokes, I’ve grown to accept them. All in all, it’s a nice thing to do, and the world needs more nice things.
But there are a few jokes that I just won’t tolerate, mostly because they are tired and aren’t funny. You wanna talk to me? Work for it. Above all else, I respect creativity.
So here the official list of jokes that should never be told at a bar ever again:
Person A: “Hey, is anyone sitting here?” Person B: “You are.” (This joke is so tired, it’s the equivalent of “Do you want some salt with your fries?”)
“Do you want some salt with your fries?”
“You’re getting married? … Don’t do it.” (This actually happened to me. My fiancé and I were at Flanagan’s and this guy sits down next to us with his wife and told me “don’t do it” six or seven times. Come to think of it, maybe he wasn’t joking.)
“Opa!” when a glass breaks.
“Hey, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere.”
🍩 What I’m drinking: Glendalough Double Barrel Irish Whiskey. Got this for $35 recently. Finished in sherry barrels. It’s hard to find anything with the word “Sherry” on the label for less than $50, but this doesn’t taste cheap. The sherry rounds out the end with a subtle sweetness that makes it good for summer drinking.
Cheers!